Darren. I see it everyday. Now there are some women who see and have commented on gender bias against men and boys. None of that matters in my support payments. AMEN to your story. Push for changeSo how do Dads organize to make this a possible topic of political elections? Fathers are victimized by the court who now makes it illegal for you to be a father, and only by the courts leave are you allowed to be a father. But now because my childs mother is bitter she goes and puts me on child support but claims it was only for insurance. Child support may be ordered when the parents are separated, have never lived together, or are in divorce, dissolution of marriage, annulment, or in the midst of paternity and legal separation cases. Way to go legal system. And to not disrespect him. So since she was claiming that as income, he should have been able to claim it as an expense. Well why did you sleep with them. Have a physical confrontation with wife and/or children. We are now divorced and I 1400/month in support. I know what my kid likes because I spend quality time with him when I can and i expose him to numerous activities to broaden his horizons. I pay most of the summer camp and after school care cause she needs to work for a living. I emailed her, and yelled at her. Once the child reaches 18 years of age, in most states, it is no longer required that the father pay child support. Aurora; I completely agree with you. He had custody because moms now husband is a pedophile, and so the children were placed w/ him and but the husband of mom took a test in Nebraska due to her pleas w the courts the kids need her etc and he passed to be safe around kids(who knew there was such a test, but he lives w them and is a lifetime register offender), so mom taught the kids what lies say to get removed from dad and have them beg to be placed w her family and it worked. Unfair child support guidelines. Its really is unfair in some ways now days. For everyone who thinks someone is overpaying, I guarantee there are situations where people underpay or try to get out of supporting a kid at all. The State calculator yielded a "Fair child support figure of $450.00 that Bob was to pay. I would tell the court no and that the kid/s need to spend equal time with each parent. Both of those parentsBOTH are responsible to financially raise those children. For every situation you point out about terrible fathers I will point out a terrible situation that 50/50 joint custody could have prevented. Thats when my nightmare began.Ive received 30 days incarceration, had to pay child support plus 100% of all their financial needs. What if dad is sick or injured and can no longer work for say 2 years . Every divorced guy I know would take over primary custody of their kids in a heartbeat, even if it meant they would receive no child support from the mother. How much you pay basically depends on how many nights per fortnight the children spend with you. The way it works now I get to see my youngest based on my exs work schedule. He has not contributed financially to her expenses in the last 3 years either. Should you become unemployed they can order a work search and you would just need to report the jobs youre applying for and they dont charge current, as long as you follow the rules of the court. It just goes to show you. Further examples. They arent worth it! Finally 4 1/2 years later and the 50% joint custody is in place and child support was reduced. He had left his. Child support laws are designed to keep the noncustodial father/mother in a financial decay, as if they are the ones who are responsible for the child and divorce. My bf is an amazing dad and from day one tried his best to be an active parent. Yes the system is broken, anyone whos been through family court knows this is true. When 54% of my paycheck goes to my ex and 46% goes to my family of 5 how is that fair. I call child support and they say that they can not do anything about it. Tina, Read Dr. Stephen Baskervilles book, TAKEN INTO CUSTODY to learn the extent of the corruption. The law should be added to so that those women don't have several babies and then wait for the child support to come in. She was 34, and I was 16. All it took, was one argument, and Ive had CSS on my back ever since. I felt with all that and than some. you will never pay it off. The Federal Parent Locator Service uses a national database to track down noncustodial parents to enforce payments. Is anyone else in this situation? This lady is a classic example of someone who abuses and takes advantage of the system and the courts do nothing. both of you chose to bring these children into the world so both are equally responsible. There will become a time that they grow older and have friends that want to hang out with do things with go places with but they want be able to because they will have to go to the other parents house . He cant comment on your position just as you shouldnt comment on his. If the mother works and makes $140k a year, then your annual child support obligation of $20,892 does not even come close to what she is contributing to the care of your kids if she is the custodial parent. Sounds like she works her butt off to give these kids a great life. Ive seen this. Given the capacity for errors in human judgment, of course there may be fathers who have heartbreakingly had access to their children unjustly restricted. For me, thats with the 20k but at the end of the day, what that system puts well intended fathers through is brutal and I sometimes wonder if the system is part of the reason some people just lose it and do crazy things. . In 2013, $32 billion of child support was collected and that number has been steadily rising over the years. It took 4 years of back and forth through the courts trying to get the time-sharing custody plan in place so the child support could be reduced but she kept stalling and wouldnt provide her tax returns because she knew it would be all over for her. I havent found any groups to help with child supportall for women. I got an apology, but still. Please see both: http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf and https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.html. Increasing access and visitation. Every situation is different. I did the same thing. I know there are genuinely some men who want their children and are great fathers, and I applaud and support them in this battle. How much are we allowing to occur? They always come home and bring their friends and significant others with them. It was the father that busted the door down and found the boy. Sometimes we only see her once every two months). In my state the father is subject to license suspension, penalties and fines, and jail time if the support amount is not current. Read most all of these comments. But as long as Dad sees Kid that one day, all is well! Dads everywhere are getting screwed over and treated badly! So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. Like can anyone tell me how a guy who doesnt pay child support, is a sex offender an is a repeated sex offender doesnt go to jail an gets out of it even admitting to the crime still gets out of it, abuses women including his mother, an his grandmother an a bunch of other women doesnt get a day in jail an the family court judge says hes still 100% fit to be around his daughther even thou he doesnt have any contact with her or even tries to, doesnt pay his child support an keeps raping women of age an under age an nothing happens to him at all. The custodial parent is otherwise irresponsible, such as being unable to get the child to school, substance abuse, physical abuse, etc. So with all, the financial disruption, being the straw that finally breaks my finincial back. When the a Child Support Situation Becomes "Unfair" One of the most frustrating aspects of child support, which more often occurs with fathers, is that they are usually the one who is required to pay child support. Lose a job? I for one am sick and damn tired of good fathers like myself who love my child dearly and see a women who lives and has custody know less about my child than I do. Even though I won in court I lost in the end but what keeps me going is knowing this cant last forever. As Graham points out, 29 percent of families in the system live below the federal poverty line. Ive been thinking all this same stuff for a long time on my own! If she wants to keep the child and make the guy pay. I am so frustrated and upset that I really do not have any words for him. Were all the same, we deserve to be treated the same. Now he making more and can fight it but that will take money out of the mouth of his other son. This is not to say that women are better parents. Over time, more profiteers came on board, living off the conflict cause by the courts. Courts awarded her $1000/mo because of the RENTAL value of the church house we were living in (we could not profit from rental or sale of this houseit belonged to the church). I pay what I can when I can but I wont be able to work at all if this happens and my girlfriend cant afford to support us both and shouldnt have to if the courts would follow the law and calculate the arrears and payments based on my actual adjusted gross income. They spend way too much time chasing and threatning the fathers that are paying so that those cases can used in their bs statitics as a means of showing the system works. these facts are not my own just do your own research if you dare. I sold my car and I walk with a back pack everywhere. Call The Firm For Men, located conveniently in Virginia Beach, at 757-383-9184, or contact us online, to learn how we can help you with your child support, modification, garnishment and related issues. Some men hate paying child support! Gentlemen, here are some tips-1) Get an attorney whenever dealing with child support. I know I am ranting, but the system is so bias it is ridiculous. She refused to let the kids see their dad unless he joined her religion- so he did. So how is a man supposed to pay current support plus back support with interest. Lisa although I understand from your perspective you share about single mothers. Ive been paying child support for 19 years in the state of NY and to date its at $148,450 PAID! Reducing and, in some cases, forgiving arrears. This is just my opinion but the parent who has custody usually ends up being the mean parent because on the visitation days the other parent is usually going to do something fun with them. Yes! I pay $1000/month for one child. 5. Because child support should be a joint effort. These are two very different things. Its like I know that I have to get up and work harder so my kids can have what they want. So the men pay and the women get the tax breaks and tax deductions. I have one child and is paying child support of 1375 a month. The National Parents Organization recently released its Shared Parenting Report Card, which graded every state on its child custody statutes and how well they promote shared parenting following divorce or separation. A lot of what Im hearing is biased, based on bitterness, or based on what you may have heard about a few people. Out dated systemI have 2 boys and share time with them 50/50. If youre paying something somewhat reasonable, usually at all, they dont go after you. In P.A. When he called child support this week and essentially asked them to reconsider and/or issue a temporary license due to his situation they told him flat out that there was nothing they can do and he still owes regular payments even without having a source of income. Just type in US Department of Justice 9 page memo March 14 2016 in the search. When my ex physically punched me several times in the back of the head while 6 months pregnant, what police officer would believe me. Even after i gave in to her demands she got the house,new car,property,kids,tax credit i got the 20k loan debt that i had to barrow to cover her Credit card spending spree and a fixed amount for child support,,no problemfine that was the deal my lawyer said sign it its the best you will get and its over for good. My last point..guardian ad litems need to actually do thier jobs or back down. Paying 300, 500 per month?? The system is almost similar to yours and has been working for over eight years. A $300 dollar rent is a pipe dream as that kind of rent is very very hard to find in this day and age and even if you do you risk living in a violence prone neighborhood. The insanity did not stop until I declared BANKRUPTCY the best option out there to stop the bleeding and financial harassment.My opinion examine your total ex spousal obligations with a bankruptcy attorney . The FEDS help the states to ensure dad pays. The system is not kind towards men. Keep going.". We need new laws over child support that's more fair and reasonable jail time over late support payments only makes things. Im really glad you made it a priority for dad to get his 50% custody. The old chestnut. Shouldnt they let me deduct my child care expenses from my year to date income to lower my child support? Catch 22. We areout the door planning another activity. There are several organizations around the country that focus on supporting and maintaining fathers' rights, both in family courts and through legislative action. If I could afford to drive the extra couple hours to see my kids during the week I would but there is not enough time in a day or gas money in the bank to support this. It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to make sure theyre kids are taken care of!!!!! Credit For Marital Home Mortgage Payments. We may not be getting Ben and Jerrys, may need to cut the cable for a while, not get that new iPhone, etc. I hope you both can work out your situations so your children dont end up paying the price. The whole system is punitive, if I lose my job and cant afford an attorney to get my payments reduced they threaten to take away drivers license or put you in jail. My exs tjme was always to busy with turning them against me, manipulating them to hate their own mom. How can i spend more time with my child when I am struggling to pay rent, have my own health problems that require medicine and try to afford all of that plus TRYING to spend as much quality time as possible with my child. Child Support. OCS hasnt pulled the kids, and so far the judge hasnt either. 1. Home / Articles / 4 Problems With The Modern Child Support System. I cant afford a lawyer to keep going back and forth to court so I have essentially given up. It was wasted time and energy. Im a father. I think it should be a different system set up for father that showed they want to be in their child life but low life mothers dont allow it. 42 US Code 654(21)(a) caps the amount of interest that a state can charge at 6-percent per year, but many states ignore this statute. Child support may be established, but custody and visitation may not be. Who still has never gotten to meet his brother. The guidelines need to be taken back to the drawing board. Amen to that brotha couldnt agree with you more this system has to change asap our rights are being taken away little by little and with that our parent raising views and dreams /our hard work earned money and some.. I am a single dad of four. The system provides a pathway to a broken home, It facilitates divorce, and leaves the father with little to start over with. It is against the rules on our home to speak Ill of the other parents. The first was a rastafarian who claimed he could not cut hair like he used to, and planned to get an hvac license, $300 perge 30 days. My ex drives a 2015 new model car, I drive an 1989 toyota Camry. If your not going to try and work together with him then you do what you do and he does what he does. A Missouri state senator who went viral because he apparently thinks it's OK for 12-year-olds to get married is clarifying his remarks. She went to my nieces house with her daughter to get away from him for a week and when she went back he kicked her out. Its just the opposite. I know many women will not agree with what I have to say, but its what I think. If a father becomes unemployed and then takes a lower-paying job, a reconsideration of the amount of child support due might be appropriate. Dont believe me, read the Social Security Administraion Act, TITLE IV, Section D. So look at the facts: In most cases the mother gets custody and typically makes less than the father; thereby the courts order the father to pay support. nothing with the law is easy. The best interests of the children. In practice, the judge tends to . We see her once a month (3-4 days each month usually. Lawyers? The State of Indiana, St. Joseph County, specifically, awarded a court order of $2, 346.00, this at the initial child support hearing, 219.00 every two weeks. It is the childs money. It should be 50/50 automatically and child support should never give more money to one parent than the other. I thank heavens did not have to deal with the child support drama. Judges dont get to know every case there are just to many and to them its only a job and they could care less if you are struggling due to an idoit you were once involved with,you are only a paycheck to judges and lawyers and they sure dont give a crap about the child. I have always been a strong provider and have always helped my family as best as possible while we were a unit. If you say its just bevause of visitation your WRONG. File file for an adjustment. She stopped letting me get my daughter giving me every excuse in the book. Not only did my father fill my mind with false claims about my mother, he also brought her to court countless times over what he viewed as an unfair child support arrangement. The system needs Common Sense Reform. His salary was $2800/mo before taxes. Sounds like they both made a mistake equally and theyre both paying for it equally. Ive been on tough situations but never did I bother there dad because as a mother we always find a way to make money. I paid all the medical bills from my daughter, Im struggling to help pay my kids through college. Now I regret not making police reports or reporting her. We requested a modification in writing and never got a response. I had my son when i was 21 years old. It seems to work out so well for them????? There should be no wealth transfer! Thats it! Besides these 3 children, I have 7 other children from prior relationships. Individuals like myself work hard to be a part of our childs life, make our payments and stay on amicable terms with the other parents only to be drug over the coals simply because they state wants to recover their losses. Make sure anything she says can and will be used against her in the court of law. Once last comment, what is sad also is so many women would use this unjust system. How is this fair to my niece and nephew or to my other two children one of which is special needs. Eight years youngest based on my own make sure theyre kids are taken care of!!... 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